Hello Again, yes again

I thought I would have passed out after the initial "Hello Again" blog, but.......this elder flower liquor not nearly as strong as I thought it was going to be. About to move forward to Crown. I mean, how much can you expect from a flower anyway? So...I went on a date tonight. It's weird. You go out with someone. Absolutely nothing wrong with the date itself. Girl wants to kiss you at the end of the night. But I don't want to. It's as if that simple gesture of kissing someone goodnight implicates more than I'm capable of giving. (Pause for drink refreshment) Crown and Soho Lychee with a generous splash of ginger ale. (And three amazingly good Girl Scout Thin Mints from my freezer, I may move forward to Samoas if this does not end soon). I'm so fucked. I've set the bar so high. But I can't help it. If you've had a diamond on your finger, would you ever settle for a cubic zirconia? I'm still waiting to be blown away. Like that first moment when you meet someone and you catch your breath. You are so overwhelmed. Has happened to me five times in life (Including elementary school, for whatever that is worth). Still holding out for that moment. I don't know if that's reasonable. But that moment of pure, unadulterated happiness that you feel when you are so connected.... I think it's worth waiting for. Maybe I'm just not desperate enough yet..I don't know....what to say???? what to say???????????????? We settle for so much less. And yet the irony is that so much of us end of fucked in these horrible relationships. Am I being waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too idealistic about this whole process??? Is it just time to settle? Pick a reasonable decent human being to be the mother of your children. I can't do it....I can't do it..........

Ok...

I promise to write more. I am not speaking to you.....I am speaking to me. There is great potential here. I have so much to say...But I've held back for so long............I am making a commitment to this post. I shall no longer neglect you, DayofTheDog. I had a dog for like three days this past year. His name was Hunter. I could never get on board. I gave him back. I felt like a horrible doggy parent. One day, I will get married, have children, a white picket fence, all so I can have a doggy. Fair exchange I'd say.

Hello Again

Has it been so long? At this rate I'll have enough material for a book in like 40 years or so. Went through some of my old blogs. Was totally aghast at some of my spelling errors. I feel I have advance atrophy of my brain for my age. If you have any idea what that means you'll understand it's completely related to Goose and Tonic. Although, I must say, St. Germaines, the Elder Flower plucked from the base of the Swiss Alps has supplanted Goose on the list of local toxins. Do you ever realize that people write stuff that is so inside that absolutely none of the outside world reading it has any fucking idea what it is that you are talking about. I mean, I read God of Small Things. Had no clue for most of the book what she was talking about. But isn't that the way it is now? You make some completely abstract remarks about life and b/c no one has any idea what you are talking about you are immune to criticism. OK, so I digress. The previous few blogs on life were made listening to Cat Power. Must say, super depressing chick but definitely appropriate for the moment. New blog, new music. Listening to the Handsome Furs. Radio Kaliningrad. Montreal band. Truly amazing. I shazaamed that song at Urban Outfitters. Must say. Urban Outfitters is the new frontier for good, new, dope music. Just walk in there, pull out your I Phone, shazaam that motherfucker, hit the russians on gomusic, and you've got yourself a new album.

Ok so where is this leading? Always felt that if I wrote a page a day I would have enough for an amazing cool autobiography within a year or so. Um, are you really allowed to have an autobiography at the age of thirty-three; probably not. I have started painting. As I've mentioned in other literary venues, while my art is nothing to look at now I do hope it is worth a significant amount once I've passed. There are so many moments in life that I think the epitome of happiness is dancing by yourself in your own home, listening to the tunes that make life go by. All of the bullshit goes away. You're just living. Totally connected with yourself and life . You smile for no one else. Just for yourself. You smirk. You are the only one that understands your own personal inside joke. It's very Kevin Bacon Footloose of us, no?

Ok, so this blog post is the throwing down of the gauntlet that I will continue to blog post.......