Hello Again, yes again

I thought I would have passed out after the initial "Hello Again" blog, but.......this elder flower liquor not nearly as strong as I thought it was going to be. About to move forward to Crown. I mean, how much can you expect from a flower anyway? So...I went on a date tonight. It's weird. You go out with someone. Absolutely nothing wrong with the date itself. Girl wants to kiss you at the end of the night. But I don't want to. It's as if that simple gesture of kissing someone goodnight implicates more than I'm capable of giving. (Pause for drink refreshment) Crown and Soho Lychee with a generous splash of ginger ale. (And three amazingly good Girl Scout Thin Mints from my freezer, I may move forward to Samoas if this does not end soon). I'm so fucked. I've set the bar so high. But I can't help it. If you've had a diamond on your finger, would you ever settle for a cubic zirconia? I'm still waiting to be blown away. Like that first moment when you meet someone and you catch your breath. You are so overwhelmed. Has happened to me five times in life (Including elementary school, for whatever that is worth). Still holding out for that moment. I don't know if that's reasonable. But that moment of pure, unadulterated happiness that you feel when you are so connected.... I think it's worth waiting for. Maybe I'm just not desperate enough yet..I don't know....what to say???? what to say???????????????? We settle for so much less. And yet the irony is that so much of us end of fucked in these horrible relationships. Am I being waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too idealistic about this whole process??? Is it just time to settle? Pick a reasonable decent human being to be the mother of your children. I can't do it....I can't do it..........

Ok...

I promise to write more. I am not speaking to you.....I am speaking to me. There is great potential here. I have so much to say...But I've held back for so long............I am making a commitment to this post. I shall no longer neglect you, DayofTheDog. I had a dog for like three days this past year. His name was Hunter. I could never get on board. I gave him back. I felt like a horrible doggy parent. One day, I will get married, have children, a white picket fence, all so I can have a doggy. Fair exchange I'd say.